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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?